To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize