She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We're using joints as your birthday candles
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Randomize
