Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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