drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
