my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Two words: blizzard sex
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
