She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize