tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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