your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
