The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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