Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
