She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
