hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
