You smell like stripper and shame
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize