we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
