I think I just saw someone hide a body.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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