I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
