first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
