so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
