Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
3 2 1 whiskey
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
