Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
