Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
