so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
