Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
