Banned from zoo.
Again?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
