i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
