just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
