Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
