Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
the day after is always just damage control
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
where are my eyebrows?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
