Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
