you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize