I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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