I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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