My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
