in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
