Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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