Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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