You're completely useless in the revolution.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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