FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
