My hand turned me down
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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