1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
did i walk over a car last night?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
