It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I will die if light touches me.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
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