i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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