I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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