im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
