omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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