will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
