DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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