Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
