i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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