Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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