:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
