she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
