yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
