i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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