Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
