i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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