the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
