so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
