uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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