I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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